new work and my finger

so all of a sudden I've been making the first good new work I've done in at least two years...definitely since the a.p.e show...since I feel like everything new I showed last winter and spring was really crap. and I seem to have done it without going back to the older, more traditional, paint-only stuff that was boring me.

it only took two years, but I seem to finally have figured out a way to incorporate the collage stuff onto canvas successfully. or at least I think so. To me, anyway.

and there's randomness, and text, and images from varied sources working together, and drawing. and a really textured surface.

and it's looking right.

and for some reason, even though I usually prefer to work really large, small surfaces are working for me, so I can work in my room.

and my crooked finger isn't really getting in the way.

on a little side note, I've been feeling a ton of anger about my apparently permanently messed up finger, a lot of it because I am an artist and a craftsperson after all, and MY HANDS ARE IMPORTANT damn it.

but I'm making way better work than I was before I got hurt. And before I got hurt, I was thinking maybe I just wouldn't make paintings anymore, I was so frustrated. So who knows if I would have made what I'm making now if I hadn't had all this time to think. More time than I've had to figure stuff out since I was in high school, at least. And then I wasn't using it properly.

So I guess, just take things as they come. and try not to get to angry about things that seem awful.

thank freaking god it wasn't my right hand, right? and that the only activity so far I've found that seems impossible for me to manage now is typing with both hands, and I never could do that anyway.

remember to be grateful, grateful, grateful. could have been worse, worse, worse.

I'm all over the place, so I'm going back to painting.

oh, and when I have a couple of more things finished, I'll try to take some pictures and post the new stuff on my website. Maybe totally revamp the website, since there's a lot of stuff on it that I hate. anyway, will let y'all now.