lighthouse keeper

also because I'm so restless lately, I've been kind of obsessed with all things nautical. I want to go to sea. I want to live on a fishing boat. I was really into the guy on anthony bourdain:no reservations last night who lived by himself in a neighbourhood in st. bernard parish that everyone else had abandoned and fished on his shrimp boat. I love the culture of the louisiana river parishes, and the shrimp and oyster men.

and this weekend I was at home on the cape, and spent as much time looking at the ocean as much as I could. which was more comforting then I ever could have hoped.

I'm just so out of sorts all the time lately. I have always been a very good, sound sleeper, and lately not only do I ever single night without interruption wake up sometime around four and toss and turn for about two hours, I have actual nightmares about like horror-movie-esque bloody things scratching on the windows and such. very vivid nightmares. which is weird. because I never dream like that.

But the ocean definitely helped. greg took a lot of beautiful pictures. I am going to print them and post them around my room.

oh, and regarding lighthouses.

on saturday greg and I and my mom and my mom's wife took this walk in provincetown at race point down the fire road out to the lighthouse. and I was dreaming of being the lighthouse keeper (I know those don't exist anymore, just a dream). and on the way home we stopped by the highland lighthouse in north truro to watch the sunset, because I like lighthouses, and the guy with the keys to the lighthouse happened to randomly be there for the sunset, and we got to go up in the lighthouse to watch the sunset. in truro, where you can see the ocean from all sides. did you know that once the sun touches the horizon, it will sink all the way into to the ocean in less then five minutes?

then I really wanted to live in the lighthouse.

and the historical society guy was telling us that female lighthouse keepers where known for always risking their lives to save sailors lost at sea.

and of course earlier that day we had gone to the beach in wellfleet where the eighteen century shipwreck had washed ashore in the storm last week. so for someone who likes living in their head I had a nice fantasy going.

but enough about me for tonight already! how about that super bowl!

in conclusion, I just bought bjork's medulla for a second time since my copy has been missing for almost a year and I gave up (probably somewhere under the seat of my car) and it's so awesome, listening to it again is making me so happy. if you own it, play it.