Saturday, January 10, 2009

hopeless romanticism brought to you by the snowstorm

I've been thinking about dating, about people, about relationships, and how sometimes I don't want to be alone and I wonder if my standards are too high, but then why can't I expect to be with someone whose just perfect?
Is perfect too much to ask?
Or should I just accept "well this is ok."
In the past couple of years, starting from "well this is ok," was pleasant but not mindblowing, at least not in the beginning, but then led to a lovely two year relationship and we are still friends.
Then I had something that did seem perfect and mindblowing, and we dated for like a month, had a horrible horrible messy heart breaking breakup and he got me fired and we'll probably never speak again.
So maybe I should be looking for people who AREN'T like me?
What do I mean by "like me"?
just how some with people you get this "this person is like me" feeling...it's both a visual and an emotional feeling, like you feel like the person would just fit into your life without any effort, not like they were exactly the same person and they couldn't bring anything to you, but like if you saw them in your room it would make sense and you knew you could play music and they'd probably like it and you could recommend books for them and it would probably work out and you wouldn't worry too much before cooking them dinner or suggesting an activity for the first time.
Someone who in your minds eye just "looks right," and that has nothing to do with attractiveness.
I can't explain it anymore than that.
I want to be open to people and not just hung up on this idea in my head, but on the other hand, I when I feel like I'm compromising I get bored and frustrated and spend my life daydreaming in my head.
I was feeling all of those "soulmate?" type feelings about my most recent completely horrible dating situation, and it just ended so so so badly that I really don't know what to think.
There's some other stuff going on to that I'll get to in the next post that's also part of the reason I'm thinking all this stuff.
I'm snowed in with a fresh french press of coffee, so what better time to contemplate these questions...plus being snowed in reminds me that I'd rather be snowed in with that person whose "just right."
I know, I know, I should go buy a copy of glamour or something. I'm sure there is a trashy women's magazine out there that can solve this problem for me.
(apologies for this "single girl" post-I'll get back less sex and the city content shortly, it's just been a weird couple of days, weeks, months, etc.)

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