it's amazing the little things that seem big sometimes. like that today I came home from work and cooked myself broccoli and chanterelle mushrooms and habernero peppers. With cheese, of course. And ate a healthy lovely dinner all for myself. and that my room is clean. And my bed is luxurious and I love sleeping late there on my days off and staying in bed half the day with a book once I wake up. And fall. It's so beautiful right now. I live here for this weather, you have to be grateful to be alive. Just the air coming through my windows as I'm waking up makes me so happy.
And that last night I came home from a party I didn't want to be at and did some art work. It was kind of a revelation, when I was trying to be out and be social, and getting home and realizing how much I wanted to be alone in my room with a bottle of wine and the random collage elements I've been collecting in my bag these past weeks, and a blank canvas and my sketchbook. And I ended up having a good conversation about trucks and cheese too.
So I'm happy about crisp fall weather and really delicious mushrooms and my lovely clean room with my books and art work and plants and pictures in it. And being able to cook for myself because even at 28 it's hard for me to believe that I deserve to eat. So when I remember I have to celebrate myself. And all the wonderful people I know who keep me going even when I wonder if anyone can really be trusted. Cause sometimes I feel so low about people. Because, man, will people ever surprise you for the worse sometimes. But then Diane give me a random hug at work, or Katie keeps trying to give me soup and advice, and ali is always awesome, and rin keeps on being super adorable. Just for instance.
I realize this blog is mostly lists of things I need to remember to appreciate, but I think that's what self-reflection is for me. Just lists of things I need to remember to appreciate. Because even when I'm driving in my car weeping with the music really loud, I know my life is generally really great.
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