eggplant musings

today i came home from a walk in the pouring rain soaking wet. i'd been in a weird mood all day...woke up pretty early, but was kind of depressed and was feeling a really strong lack of purpose, so went back to sleep for way too many hours. when i woke up i was still sort of mopey. i don't know. rainy day stuff i guess.

but then i actually went for a walk and got soaked to the skin and felt better for some reason. i guess it was rather cleansing. and then the weather broke just after i got home, and as i walked up the stairs to my room in my dripping jeans the sun came out just as it was setting, and made my room sort of glow.

then since no one was home (which is sort of rare around here) i went down to the kitchen and made eggplant parmesan and played the new mixtape i just made very loudly. eggplant parmesan is one of my oldest comfort recipes, along with tuna casserole. those are the two things i learned to cook from my mom and the first things i cooked when i got my own apartment in college. and the things i cooked to impress girls when i was seventeen. uh-huh.

this was not supposed to be a post about cooking eggplant, by the way, but i did have the thought that i may be happiest by myself at home in my sweatpants frying eggplant, listening to good music loudly, drinking a glass of wine, watching a sunset, and dancing.

i am generally happiest cooking i think. i am also very happy working in my sketchbook, but then i have guilt about the purpose of the activity, why am i doing this, is this a waste of time, etc. cooking gives me the same feeling, only i know the purpose.

i don't know. maybe i've been reading too many food books. since i have all this time to read, i have this whole reading this of food writing. currently, it's "heat" by bill buford, next will be "trail of crumbs" by kim sunee or "real food" by nina planck. for those of you even remotely interested in my reading list.

or maybe i'll just read the new "in touch". oh britney. how has it come to this?