Cali Part Three: Family Drinking & Mall Culture

& We're back.

At this point in our trip, I can say truthfully that we were losing our minds.

Here's what that looks like, Cali-style:

A Pair Of Chicken Dinners:

Part A: Old School Chicken, Carrots, Potatoes & Peas with Gramma, Grampa & Cousin Amy (following pinto grigio at 5 pm in the hot tub as went our Corona custom)

& Part B: Chicken, Onion, & Green Pepper Sandwiches at Uncle Bob's House, aka The Diamond Family Bar. With Top Gun (Ali, was it Top Gun? Now I'm blocking out the details?!) & copious amounts of scotch. Yup, weird night. Thank Christ it included the adorable puppy Bailey!

What could follow up a night of drinking at your family's own personal bar better then a truly old fashioned day of SO-CAL MALL CULTURE. Oh yes, the Diamond sisters meet a GIANT MALL. In the desert.

In short, our visit caused us to become addicted to Jamba Juice & Ross Dress for Less (actually, these are both re-addictions for me, I acquired them living in San Francisco & have been coping with the withdrawal ever since).

When Liz & Ali drove a red Ford Mustang convertible through the Hills:

to drink smoothies in flavors such as Green Tea Matcha & Pumpkin Pie & purchase discount Marc Jacobs scarves, gigantic Le Sportsac totes & sequined dresses of no brand name whatsoever but still beautiful,

(thank you Ali, I stll remember that is one of my Christmas presents)

So I mentioned Romano's Macaroni Grill? Same mall as the smoothies & shopping, 4:45pm on the dot, Diamond Cousin Reunion.

This type of crap food still makes me angry, but on the other hand I haven't had dinner with all four Diamond grandchildren in about ten years, so maybe I'll let this one go (Cousin Erin seems to have become a grown-up now, who knew?).

However, I must mention the following: that the waiter drew on the table with a crayon, offered the house Chianti as his wine selection, took his half hour break during our dinner, & served me a glass of wine I had ordered approximately 45 minutes before after the check came. Did I mention the food was crap? & Really quite expensive? How do places like this shithole get away with these shenanigans? Are we really that stupid as a food culture? (yes yes I know I know) (I guess I haven't let it go but REALLY?! In ten minutes with $3 I could have made better food for four with ten dollars I could have had better wine too) But anyway,

Seafood Linguine & Loster Ravioli, aka Mediocre Food & An Excellent Family,

(love&thanks Ali, Gramma, Grampa, Amy & Erin)

We did have one truly great meal, Ali & I, & eventually, I'll end this saga on that note.

Hint: Deep Fried Zucchini & Carne Asada. & That meal carried us through LAX & home again.

Bunny & Root Vegetables.

Question: What do you eat as a side along with Roast Duck & 40's of Olde English 800?

(Yup, more from our pre-Thanksgiving/Harvest Moon dinner. )

Answer: The Bunny & Veggie Course, obviously.

Quartered Rabbit roasted in butter & garlic with Butternut Squash, Scarlet Turnips, & Yellow Onions (all Western Massachusetts locally grown, if you care about that sort of thing), Wilted Broccoli Rabe in olive oil, & Owen's homemade Last Minute Dinner Rolls.

Helpful tip from EnD: Several times during the course of the day in which we made this meal, it was pointed out to us that rabbit is not a complete food. Very deficient in amino acids or something, damn you vegan animals that aren't cows. Who knew everyone knew this fact? So, if on a wilderness adventure, I urge you, cook a duck, too.

Roast Duck & A Triad of 40's.

A little pre-Thanksgiving get together at our house with the always fabulous Izaac

(Yup, the infamous gentleman who inspired the Bacon Lasagna, always an EnD Classic).

Roast Duck & three 40's of Olde English 800

(thank you Izaac),

Under a Theatrical Harvest Moon.

Roast Duck = Marinated in Soy Sauce, Cheap Red Wine (thank you, Carlo), Olive Oil, Sesame Oil, Fresh Rosemary, & Chopped Garlic, Roasted with Stuffing of Bread, Onions, Garlic, Pumpkin Seeds, Slab Bacon, & Duck Liver.

& we cooked other cute little animals in the course of this meal, also (sorry bunnies).

Yay chilly dramatic November weather & Meat n' Beer fests with friends.

Cali Part Two: Grilled Cheeses at Old Spanish Missions, Burger Arguments, & BACON.

So Diamond Daughters in the great state of California, continued.

In which Gramma drives us to Riverside, & we get lost & end up at the city limits with the auto parts stores, & we eventually arrive at the Mission Inn, see some parrots, & eat grilled cheeses in Mum's (allegedly, Gramma tells these stories sometimes) favorite lunch spot, Simple Simon's.

Grilled Cheeses In Old Spanish California, After Being Lost In The Urban California Desert.

At some later point, we had this burger conflict. First, Grampa Diamond is self-admittedly terrible at grilling. Only burgers he is good at. This makes him a burger crazy person. I, as an adult, have formed my own burger preferences, & mine include Hellman's mayonnaise as a must & Sriracha as yes yes please & crazy additions as hells yeah what have you got? As you can see here. Sooooooo...I wanted my mayonnaise, some chopped jalapenos, & a sliced perfect avocado & whoah was I shot down. Oh families. PEOPLE FROM BROCKTON, MA DO NOT PUT FING AVOCADOS ON MEAT. END OF STORY. I forget this.

(Note, Ali, a burger girl is anyone is, did agree with him, so I give his taste buds the benefit of the doubt).

Anyway, I present,

Grampa's "Perfect" Burger.

To comfort us from all this terrible family burger conflict, Saturday morning breakfast. The most essential one, the Platonic ideal of breakfast, why bacon smells good like nothing else to me, & why I can never be a vegetarian.

Breakfast with Bob

(Fried Eggs, Bacon, Thomas' English Muffins, Always & Forever).

Coming up: We find our perfect Liz & Ali restaurant after almost dying of depression in a giant California mall, we purchase sparkly discounted things while drinking smoothies, have a more odd than even usual for us family evening, & a moving & memorable in emotional terms but so upsettingly bad foodwise Anthony Bourdain would cry Macaroni Grill experience. Seafood Linguine. Shudder. All coming up next. Stay Tuned.

Cali Part One: 3000 Miles From Cheezits to Red Snapper

Some things have happened since my last long ago post, mostly spring & summer & hence gardening & nightswimming & long evenings outside & much less internet. Also some family happenings, & what says family history memory the most?

Yup, food (which shapes our lives, etc.).

My dear sister & I flew on a plane to California in October.

Being us, we ate things. Lots of things.

Through the Sky to Dallas & LA.

Airports, airplanes, drive-thrus, & our Gramparents' House: Cheezits in the air, Starbucks' Iced Caramel Macchiatos, a Blimpie's BLT sub in Dallas, "El Potato Burrito" @ Miguel's Jr, Grampa's Famous Stuffed Shells back on Eureka Street.

So we knew we were home, in that sense of being at home in one's own past,

Grampa's Roast Beef & Sides, AKA The Taste Of My ChildHood.

The meal that I thought of first when we planned the journey. The smell that still means "FOOD" to me. Roast beef covered in pepper & onions, whipped mashed potatoes with tons of butter, canned peas, steamed carrots.

I think this meal is why I like to eat, why I learned to cook. So I could produce this feeling myself. I still can't cook this right though. Better maybe, but not right.

A classic shopping adventure with Gramma, to a (at least to me) fabulously insane California mall restaurant, The Elephant Bar.

The Elephant Bar, where two girls from Massachusetts meet Americana + Sushi.

Seriously. We split a tempura shrimp roll, & then I had ahi tuna over brown rice with seaweed salad & smoked tofu, & Ali enjoyed mac n' cheese & coconut shrimp. All presented in a completely over the top fashion with oddly low lighting as befits a fancy/trashy mall restaurant. According to Gramma, the bar was also an excellent place to meet men. We unfortunately did not get a chance to check this out theory.

Although the Elephant Bar was a tough act to follow & Although I am 32 & Ali is 27 we will always be "the kids" to our grandparents, one night they actually let us cook dinner. This was a very difficult trip in many ways while it was also perfectly wonderful in others, & in one of our worst early moments we found a grocery store we liked, the delightful Henry's, & it saved everything. Shows what food, & the option to purchase the food you want, will do to save a situation. We took many, many a trip to Henry's to enjoy the lovely cashiers who did not look at us & our outfits like we were crazy freaks like pretty much everyone else in Corona, & buy very cheap but delicious California white wines to drink in the jacuzzi & avocados & tomatillos & chilis & lemons & grapefruits & other amazing California things. What can I say? We like to eat in our family. Those first bags of groceries we brought home from Henry's were a turning point.

On this particular night: Red Snapper, with Asparagus roasted with garlic & olive oil, Baked Potatoes, & Salad with excellent California tomatoes & bermuda onions.

I will admit I caved under pressure so this is my mom's classic recipe for baked fish with butter & bread crumbs (my Grampa's favorite, always), usually as we are from Cape Cod done with cod. & I never make baked potatoes & had to actually ask Ali how to do it. But Oh well I wanted Grampa to like it. At least I snuck in the asparagus, kind of controversial in that house as not a pea or a carrot.

Us two transplanted Massachusetts girls spent ten days in our second childhood home, & as you have noticed, it was complicated. Stayed tuned for the rest, Family & Food & Feeling, here we go.

& Red Convertibles! & Shopping! & Pumpkin Smoothies!

I Tried To Make A Pretty Food Drawing, & This Is What Happened.

I made a truly beautiful, garden greens based dinner last night, & tonight attempted to draw it, in the usual fashion employed on this blog. Somehow, something went wrong. I've been trying to confine my collage side to this sort of thing, but I don't know, maybe forced separation never works. I started drawing *seriously* again because I felt like at DnD I wasn't taken seriously because I just glued shit together, so I started this drawing blog/collage blog nonsense. Of course, in my life as an artist, this is maybe the 300th time I quit collage, tried to draw like a *real* artist, got bored with that, collaged more, decided my collages were stupid, started trying to look like a RISD graduate again. Oh but wait, RISD painters hate the illustrators anyway, so what the fuck am I trying to do? Trying to figure out the conflict between people thinking my drawings of plants are pretty & only being happy gluing scraps of paper together in the midst of a big mess. Why do I care what people think? Because I have a very expensive prestigious art degree & yet work in a grocery check out aisle for crap money? Naturally low self esteem? You tell me.

Is this an art blog, or a food blog anyway? Collage or drawing or watercolour? Or just mine? I really do love to cook, but I was never able to apply myself fully to truly practical tasks, I was born a fine artist.

That's a lot of talk for one picture. So here's how it is.

The Meal: Napa Cabbage Egg Rolls with a sesame chili dipping sauce, Saag Paneer with white basmati rice, served on a bed of green leaf lettuce (spinach, napa cabbage, lettuce all from yesterday's first major garden harvest at our garden).

The Drawing:

"I need freezer space for party/CRACK." 6.8.2010.

I guess my true colours just came out.

Napa Cabbage.

Our kitchen table, May 2010:

One half a gigantic Napa Cabbage from our garden, next to its other half, soaking in salt for kimchi.